What Lies Beyond; Love

A complex interweaving of emotions cascade down my infinite thought‘s landscapes, causing ripples throughout my being. A grand reflection that has shades of familiarity, yet there are new tones with new colors, painting areas much deeper and far richer than I’ve experienced before in this place; this nexus in my mind’s ”I”. I take a moment to release my grasp on thought, allowing myself to simply wade in the waters of these sensations; feeling each variation and their expressions in a purely natural state. Something has changed in me, as all things do, yet this change overlays all details, in every space now; as if Polaroid became 4K resolution etched into the oak’s grain. Is this what it means to mature; to gain a semblance of wisdom unblemished by clichés and hyperbole? I can only smile and lightly chuckle as the adult voices of my youth echo the “as you get older, your priorities change; you won’t want the same things you used to want.” And I suppose that is indeed the case. And there you are love, I hardly recognized you without your makeup and Hollywood attire, awaiting the next soul to think they know you, but have only seen your “passion“, your chemical inducing side, and yet nothing of your core of hard work, compromise, humility, compassion, forgiveness and most importantly, your “being unconditional” true nature. And I must admit, the visage staring back at me through the mirror’s reflection isn’t that of the young man who last gazed upon you neither. For this time, I save the entirety of the dance for you and your offerings; as I accept your lead on this uncharted path on this exhilarating endless expanse; this true leap of faith. I had never completely left the security of my ”just in case this doesn’t go well” safety rope scenarios; until now. One must be willing to let go of the person they are, in order to become the person that they are meant to be; committed to taking the leap, no longer one foot in each door. One can't read half a book, or watch half of a movie, and then claim to know the entirety of it, or the depth therein, and such it is with you; love. Isn't it almost comical that the love we are searching for out there, can't be found until we recognize the love inside ourselves, that has been there all along. The irony in all of this, is that love isn't hard to find, it isn't hiding; it's eternal. Look at our structures, rooms, chambers, locks, monuments all so grand, yet they are the real walls we build to cut ourselves off from love. The stream is ever-flowing; it is us who have built the dam. Oh folly, oh paradoxical game; what a web we weave. Einstein said "insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" So let me try this differently, I have torn down my dam, and am now able to flow freely; the only stream leads towards your great ocean. Sometimes the most beautiful poetry graces our lips and pen, it seduces and captures in it's enchanting grasp, and paints and casts such a multifaceted spell that is unable to be resisted; catching you in it's web. Yet the caster forgets to come along with it, creator separate from it's creation; love awoken, yet not met in equal. Those grand words, just another wall of defense; asking a high price, subconsciously controlling the dynamic, avoiding giving in equal that of which you ask. Will you allow me to truly see inside of you; into the darkest corners of your heart, and still love you? Positively corrupting all of humanity, so much alike are we; when I see you, I see me. I've hated you....I've seen heaven. I've loved loved you...I've tasted hell. I know you....I've found myself.